A Weekend Of Mishaps
by ironman5000
Summary: You have to look inside to see what the plot is.
1. Chapter 1: The New Thing

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the long wait, I had a lot to think of for my next story. So I thought how about I make a south park story. I quickly came up with the story will be about thought some more. And I'm guessing you want to know what the plot is. The story takes place after The List episode, The school council has decided to have a sex-ed class and it starts doing more than teaching the kids about sex. And a new person comes to south park with a secret that might blow your mind. (At least I think it will.) Well, the story will contain pairings that have been made and some I came up with. I will accept requests for only straight and yuri pairings. All characters will have the same age as in the cartoon. And no correction reviews, I'm tired of getting reviews about my chapters having mistakes. If you post one of them, I will delete it unless it's serious. Now if you excuss me, I'm going to run around like an idiot. (One thing: I've altered the characters and some other stuff for the story, and it will have some tragedy moments.)

Chapter 1: The New Thing

Stan's Thoughts

It was another day in school as always, it's always the same thing. But somehow it felt diffrent.

It's been like this ever since Wendy and I got back together and Cartman got on that

diet and let his hair down, now he just looks like skinny douche. maybe something good might

happen.

Your View(coudn't think of anything else.)

Ms. Garrison: Alright kids, let's start out with some multiplying pro-

Intercom: Attention students, please report to the gymnasium.

Ms. Garrison: God dammit, what is now!

At the Gymnasium.

Kyle: sigh This better be worth it. I'm already tired of these things.

Stan: Yea, I hear ya man.

Mr. Mackey: Okay kids, I have some important news. The school has decided put in sex-ed class so we

could catch you kids up on how the whole "sex life" thing works, mkay.

There was a short silence in the the crowd.

Butters: What's sex-ed?

Stan: It's a class that's supposed to educate kids about sex.

Mr. Mackey: You see kids, we wanted to teach you kids about sex early so that you woudn't have

to deal with this when your teens, mkay.

Clyde: But Mr. Mackey, You do know what happend last time we tryed to this, right?

Mr. Mackey: Yes Clyde, I'm well aware of what happend last we did this. But don't worry,

we'll try to teach it to much more better this time.

Kyle: Dude, I'm not sure about this "sex life" idea.

Stan: Yea, me neither.

Stan's house at 8 a.m.

Stan was sleeping peacefully until someone knocked on the door real loudly.

Stan: Damnit, who is it?

Stan got up from his bed and walked to the front door and opened it. It was Kyle

Stan: Kyle? What are you doing here?

Kyle: My parants kicked me out of my house.

Stan: What!? Why!?

Kyle: I...converted to catholism. I told them about it and they yelled to get out and never come back.

Stan: Dude, why did you do it?

Kyle: I didn't want to live like a jew, I just...couldn't bear being like one of them.

Stan: Where are going to live now? I know you can't go back to your house.

Kyle: Well, I was wondering if I could live with you.

Stan: Well...let me go ask my parants.

Stan went back inside to tell his parants.

Stan then came back outside to tell Kyle.

Stan: They said you could stay till your parants want you back.

Kyle: Thanks stan. You really are a good friend, unlike that douchbag cartman.

Stan: Yea, he is one.

I know there some flaws on here, but it has a great storyline. please R/R.


	2. Chapter 2: The Weekend Begins

A/N: Hey, I've been meaning to say a few things before you read. First off, I forgot to delete something on the A/N on my last chapter, please discard the "new person" comment on the A/N. I gonna have Chef return for this story in tribute to the late Issac Hayes, I know that Chef was killed off in "The Return Of Chef" but its just not the same without him. And if you want any of your characters on here for one chapter, leave a review saying you want small appearance in the story. Be sure to say what they look like.

Chapter 2: The Weekend Begins

It was everyone's first time to be in sex-ed, so it was gonna be a bit slow.

Stan: Who you think is gonna be the sex-ed teacher?

Kyle: I don't know. I hope its a hot chick!

Stan: Or at least someone we know.

As soon as the bell rang, Chef came into the class.

Chef: Hello there children!

Everyone: Hi Chef!

Stan: Are you the new teacher Chef?

Chef: Well, the school thought I'd be much more suited for this class than anyone of the school staff here.

Plus the job gives me more money.

Kyle: What are we gonna be learning today Chef?

Chef: Well today were gonna be learning about the types of sex that is used in this type of activity.

There is regular sex, anal sex, and oral sex. Now I've brought a video explaning these terms.

It's kinda old, buts it's really great for this type of subject.

Chef than played the film, by the end of it everyone was wide-eyed and looked scarred.

Stan: Was his thing in her...

Kyle: And did she suck his...

Kenny: Can I borrow the film for tonight.

Chef: Alright kids, I want you to take these books home with you to study.

They are supposed show you the positions of sex and all that sort of stuff.

Be sure write a report about it. See ya!

At Recess.

Stan: Hey guys, do you like the class so far?

Kyle: Well, it's a bit weird.

Kenny: I like that class.

Cartman: Well I couldn't really focus on the film with jackass over there grossing out every minute.

Kyle: Don't call me a jackass you fucking douche!

Cartman: Don't call me a douche you fucking Jew!

Stan: Uhh, Cartman, he's no longer Jewish.

Cartman: What?

Stan: He became a catholic last weekend.

Cartman just stared at Kyle.

Cartman: Aww you fucking pussy!

Before Kyle could react, they saw Wendy come by

Wendy: Hey Stan!

Stan: Oh hey Wendy!

Wendy: I was wondering if I can come over and study the report for sex-ed with you.

Stan: Sure Wendy, I'd love to.

Wendy: I'll be over at 4, see you later Stan.

Stan: See you later too Wendy.

Wendy then quickly ran over to her friends.

Cartman: Looks like someone's gonna get layed tonight!

Stan: Shut up Cartman! We're just gonna study!

Cartman: Thats what she said! Hah hah!

Stan: Douchbag.

Stan's house at 4 p.m.

Stan was still trying to figure out his report while thinking what Cartman said.

He then saw Wendy come through his door.

Wendy: Hey Stan! You ready to study?

Stan: Sure! I'm already stumped on this.

Wendy: Well let's get to work!

1 hour and 30 minutes later...

Wendy: Well, I think we're finished with it.

Stan: Yep! I guess that's all of it.

Wendy: Hey Stan.

Stan: What is it?

Wendy: I was wondering, have you ever kissed anyone?

Stan: What do you mean?

Wendy: I mean, have you ever kissed anyone before me?

Stan: No, why are you asking me this?

Wendy: Oh nothing, just asking.

Stan: Did you wanted to kiss me?

Wendy: Well, yes.

Stan: You can if you want to, but you better do it quick before I-

Wendy quickly kissed him on his lips and stayed like that for 10 seconds.

Stan: Wow! I didn't puke that time!

Wendy:giggle I guess it's gonna stay like this for now on.

Stan: I hope so.

There was a loud beep outside.

Stan: Who's that honking outside?

Wendy: Oh that's my mom. She must be here to pick me up.

Stan: Well, I guess I'll see you later.

Wendy: See you later too Stan.

By the time Wendy left, Kyle came into Stan's room.

Kyle: Well?

Stan: Well what?

Kyle: Did you kiss her?

Stan: Well, yea.

Kyle: Wow! How was it?

Stan: It was great! And I didn't puke this time!

Kyle: Cool! Hey, you wanna try out that new Star Wars game you got?

Stan: Yea! I'm already done with my report.

Kyle: Alright! First one down plays first!

Stan and Kyle quickly ran down to living room.


	3. Chapter 3: We Care A Lot

Chapter 3: We Care A Lot

At the Cafeteria

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were sitting at their lunch table talking about their grades on their reports.

Kyle: You made an F on your report? Wow, you suck Cartman.

Cartman: Ay! At least I worked hard on it!

Kyle: Does a report include about you trying to save South Park from Satan in 5 minutes count as working hard on it?

Cartman: How did you know I wrote that?

Kyle: Dude, I was only joking about that! Wow, that is sad!

Cartman: Argh! Son of a bitch!

Kyle: Hey Kenny, What did you make?

Kenny: An A minus.

Kyle: What did you write about?

Kenny: I wrote it down from a porn-o movie I was watching.

Stan: What was it called?

Kenny: Debbie Does Dallas.

There was a long silence.

Stan: I don't see how she can do everyone there without getting exhausted.

Kenny: Actully, she-

They were interrupted when they saw Wendy come to the table.

Wendy: Hey Stan, You mind if I seat here with you?

Stan: Sure, I don't mind.

Cartman:Oh hell no! There's no way this bitch is sitting here!

Stan: Shut up Cartman! She can sit if she wants to.

Cartman: Well personally, I don't give a f-

**SLAP!**

Everyone in the cafeteria looked at what happened and saw what shocked them.

Cartman was holding the part his face where Wendy slapped him.

Stan: Holy shit dude!

Cartman: Oww! That hurt you bitch!

Wendy: If you ever treat me like that again, I'll tear your dick off and make you eat it! You got that!

Cartman: I-

Wendy:** YOU GOT THAT!!**

Cartman: I got It! I got it!

Wendy: Good!

Wendy sat down at the table and watched Cartman get up and walk quickly to the bathroom.

Kyle: Wow, that was kickass! You should hang out with us more Wendy!

Wendy: Teh heh! Why thank you.

Stan: I wonder why Cartman rushed to bathroom.

Kyle: Probably because he couldn't face the humiliation of being slapped by Wendy!

Everyone laughed at what what Kyle said.

In the Bathroom.

Cartman was staring at himself in the mirror, looking at the mark where Wendy slapped him.

Cartman: I swear, I will make you pay for this Wendy.

Craig: Hey, could you shut up! I'm trying to take a crap in here!

Cartman: I hate this school.

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I'll try to make the next one longer. I'm really getting good at this stuff, but sometimes I run out of ideas. You know what it's like, right? Please R/R, I'd really like some feedback from you guys. And don't forget to send in your fan-characters!


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